I continue ......

Well one would think that things would be winding down after the last two weeks that I have had. I spent Tuesday night after my wonderful day at the pool trying to finish up packing. My friend was scheduled to leave for Boston on Wednesday night.

We worked from six that night till two thirty in the morning. I returned Wednesday night before I went to work and we worked all afternoon. I left my sister to help finish up. Get the keys for me and see my friend off. I assured my friend I would clean the apartment and turn in the keys.

Earlier that Wednesday morning we had discovered my daughter's grandfather had fallen. An ambulance was called. He ended up in the hospital. Thursday I had a full house of daycare children. I got my son off to work and then headed to the apartment with some assistance to clear out some things my friend had left for me. That was all I had time to do and ended up being late for work. I hoped Friday that I would get an early start and could just hang out when all was done.

Friday morning comes and of course it was not the early start I had hoped for. I took the only daycare child I had and ran some errands. Filled up my truck and headed home. I received a call from my first husband who had received a call from the hospital and indicated that his father had taken a turn for the worse. He needed me to let our daughter know. If we wanted to visit with him we needed to come to the hospital.

It turns out that a small brain bleed that showed up on the CAT scan on Wednesday is getting worse. Some decisions had to be made and my ex has power of attorney. I could tell that he was struggling. His sister lives out of state and his wife was out of town as well. So I told my daughter what is going on. She went and finished her errands and went directly to the hospital.

I on the other hand had to go and clean the apartment as keys had to be turned in by that night. So I took my sons and off we went. Now keep in mind I love my friend dearly. Yes I will admit to being a clean freak. But Lord help me. It took four and half hours to clean a one bedroom apartment. Due to the self cleaning oven not being done when I left I kept one door key and the gate opener. I turned in the paper work and all other keys. I informed the management office things would be finished and the keys turned in by the appropriate time.

So off the the hospital I go. According to the doctors he will continue to get worse but if the family wanted they could continue current medical protocol. Or stop all heroic measures. He already has a dnr directive. So the decision has been made and now we wait. He appears to be losing speech, but then will have a limited conversation. Fades in and out and appears at times not to recognize you.

I continue to move forward as there is not time to look back. I am sad about his impending passing. My heart breaks for the decisions that have to be made by my first husband. I can only let him know that I am there for him. He has to trust himself. He is living the experience and I am on the outside looking in.