It was one of those days

Well it has been one of those days. Too tired to be around anybody and would like to tell the whole world to jump in a lake. Did the usual excercise around the lake. Everyday for the last 5 days maybe it is too much. After all I am no spring chicken and no small woman either. I think sometimes I envy those who jog. You get done quicker but being top heavy I don't think there is enough ace bandages and duck tape to secure these puppies. Oh well do what I can do. I will walk the neighborhood tomorrow as the lake will be too busy. We are suppose to be having girls night out so I will have to rest tomorrow to have the energy to go. I hope that it proves to be worth it. Picked up extra hours at the job tonight what was I thinking? Once again I wasn't. Go figure. Note to self make sure who is working before one agrees to do so. But it anyway it is a suck day I will continue my other story another day.

Beginning of the end

After that night it would be twelve days later when he was scheduled to be out of town again for another family outing. I sent him and email told him to be safe and have a good trip and hoped all had worked out with the issues of the July 4th. So you figure this was around July 13th. Something in my gut told me that he didn't go. It wouldn't be till the next day or so that I would find out that he didn't go on vacation with his family. We spent that Friday just driving around and hanging out. On Saturday morning we both worked and how nice of him he brought me breakfast. So we spent the day flirting back and forth and I decided somewhere half way through the day it was time for me take my opportunity that was knocking. So I went back to his office and informed him that I had rented a room for the night and what should I pick up for us to drink. He stated that he liked bloody mary's and was shocked at my forwardness. I told him that I felt if I didn't seize the moment it would not come again. So I think that we both finished the day with nervous anticipation. Although we had be together intimately this would be different it wouldn't be in the back of durango or bootie wagon as he now called it........

I knew it was wrong..........part 2

The emailing and flirting went on until July 2 and it I remember it very clearly because we talked about the fact that he would be out of town for the 4th of July. Family obligations out of town. That was on Saturday. So I told him have a good trip and I would talk to him the following Saturday. Now mind you that there had been previously a very close encounter but due to the place we both stopped. So I was off for five days because my birthday falls with the holiday and so I had partied most of the weekend and on Sunday July 3rd I thought about him and the fact that he was on his way for his family trip and I was business as usual since I have the 4th celebration at my house with bbq and fireworks. So along with my children we were cleaning house and preparing for the next day. Phone rings and to my surprise it is my friend who is trying to convince me he is calling from out of state and I am like so you have a cell phone or able to take your home phone with you. So he finally tells me he didn't go with the fam and do I want to meet him later at our place. I am like sure I am so there. I found it very easy to be him no matter what we were doing. We drove around that night, watched fireworks from the lake. That night my durango became known as the Bootie Wagon................

I knew it was wrong........

Blogging is the best since you are unknown to the rest of the world and tell the things that you are unable to discuss with other people for numerous reason or just simply becasue no one knows about it. My secret started actively about eight months and just a quickly as it started it is over. Do I know what happen can I explain it. It was all innocent in the beginning and I knew to the very core of my soul that was going on was wrong plain and simple. After all he was a married man. Yes a married man what the hell was I thinking. Oh guess what I wasn't. There was a force the drove it and it took on a life of its own. First it was emailing back and forth then phone calls and then meetings by chance or planned. What was wrong with this in addition to the fact he was married we worked together. Hello have you not read everything printed about why office flings and affairs with married men just do not work. Oh yes I knew and the voice in my head knew it. But did that stop this growing desire deep within my being. No, did not deter it in the least. Forbidden made it all the more desireable. Believe me he didn't jump in with both feet he tried to keep me at a distance but I pursued him every chance I got and made it very clear my interest...........

Not enought hours in the day...........

It has been one of those weeks between two jobs and three children and then picking up additonal hours. Icing on the cake is pull an all nighter and then don't get any sleep because everyone is less responsible than you. So here I sit tonight at my job and have to be here till 2 a.m. and have been up since 6:30 a.m. Sunday morning. I did make it to the lake this morning to see the sun rise and I wasn't alone. There is always a reward in sacrifice no matter how big or small and needless to say it was worth the loss of sleep. It amazes me how time flies when you want a moment in time to stand still but when you want it to be over it lasts forever. It will take forever for 2 a.m. to come. Would my life have been easier had a chose differently. I like to think I am they type of person that believes I am where I am suppose to be. However, it would be nice if I could practice a little more self control and not take it out on those around when I do make less than desireable choice in this life. So keeping that thought in mind until the next time I am sitting here due to a bad choice and having not slept. Remember the beautiful sunrise and be thankful it is there.