Moving forward......

Forward I am told is good. That is the direction one should always want to move in. But in this last week I keep taking a few steps backward. I find myself wondering if it is because two of my children have passed or will be passing very important milestones in their lives. A high school gradaution and soon a college graduation. This means a milestone for myself.

I look at them and see the young adults they are or becoming. Then the memories come, very vivid. In that moment I see the day they were born and like turning pages in a book the progression that brings us here in this moment. With these current milestones I have talked with several people over the months leading up to this place in time.

I have always known deep with in myself that I am truly blessed. My children are three very different,beautiful,bright and unique individuals. God has entrusted me of all the people he could have chosen from to nurture them. Believe me when I say on more than one occasion I said to God what were you thinking, throw up my arms and said, Jesus what was I thinking. Only to think to myself at the end of the day it was and is worth it.

I attribute my desire to be a player and not a couch potatoe in the parenting of my children from my own up bringing. My mom, bless her soul did the best she could being more of a single parent due to the fact she divorced when my sister and I were very young. Then she remarried and had two more children. Their dad was more like an absentee parent. Though quite disfunctional at times my family has been a great source of support.

My mom recently toasted my son at his graduation. She said to him that although Grandma does not live in the same city as he does she feels as if she has been present for alot of his milestones all because his mother (moi) keeps her well informed. Least we forget his Auntie to this day swears by the stars above that he is her child. Moved him to tears on that day. So with that said I will close. Life is a journey and I cannot think of anyone else that I would like to travel through it with than my three children and my crazy as it is family.