The monster in my dreams....

As I lay here trying to sleep I pray for a peaceful sleep. Dear God please please do not let my mind take me there. The place I have been so many times before. I am safe now let my soul and subconscience know and I start to drift off.

I can see the images, smell the air thick with his smell and hear the sounds from that place so long ago. I am struggling againist my very being, wake up, wake up. It is too late my body is paralized and I am now a small child. Why is this happening to me. Why is there not someone here to help me. I can see the shapes of things in the room and know that this is not my room, but his.

Pretend to be asleep, pretend to be a sleep and maybe he will go away. The footsteps are now outside the door. My heart is beginning to pound and my body trembles. Be still or he will know your are not asleep. He is now standing in the doorway a shadowy figure to powerful for me to fight. His prescense tells me everyone else is asleep in the house.

The others treat me badly as they think he favors me too much. If they knew the price to be his favorite would they want to pay it? My guess is no. He is closing the door and in that moment with noise of the closing of the door I jerk. I am focusing my eyes now and can see that am awake.

This is my room the one that I continue to think that I am safe in. I am not and never will be. Why, because the monster in my dreams is my reality. I am scarred and broken. The struggle to fix me will be life long. The monster is the lucky one he is long since gone from this world. But what he has done has left an impression deep within my soul. The outer world will continue to see what I allow. As I passed you on the street today did I see him in your eyes, was he in your dreams as well?