The day the Ex Sex died.......

I do not know how common this is. But I am sure that I am not the only one. You break up, separate or divorce someone. For some reason the sexual part of the relationship does not go away. I have been separated from my husband for the last seven years. The reason for no divorce as of yet is a whole other story or blog or whatever. Back to the break up sex. It takes on a life runs hot and cold like the actual relationship was. I have come to believe that it is connection that has to die for you to be able to truly move forward in your life. I think that this is even harder than the break up itself. Maybe this only true of long term relationships because it easier to gravitate to the familiar. The death of this connection for was pretty significant. Becasue if nothing else was going right in this relationship the sex was very very intense. So intense at times it was like we should have been one person instead of two. I think everyone should feel such an intensity at least once in their life. December of 2006 late in the month is when it died for me. I went to his place after work as I often did. Something was different this time I could sense it as soon as I arrived. Maybe I should have turned around and went back out the door. I didn't, but my gut told me too. The sex was different, seemed hollow on some level. It was happening meaningless sex with someone I have shared a big part of my life with. The dagger went deep in when the condom broke and he just ignored it. Then laying there all he could say was, I had an hiv test in July if that is what you are worried about. With those words ringing in my ears I rose from the bed dressed and left myself out knowing I would never return.