In the last three weeks I have read sixteen books. I never knew such a drive or need for escape as I have of recents days. The problem with the escapism that I have choosen has done nothing more than drive other emotions to the surface.
So much is going on in my life right now that the need for this escapism is at an all time high. To be in a place of none feeling. The battle wages on to be single. I am at a loss as to why it is taking so long. Truly would appear to be a case of someone not wanting me but not wanting me free to be with someone else.
The fight for my niece and nephews wages on as well. The end is near for a conclusion for my niece. Though I feel the outcome will not be good. Tomorrow we are back in court again as we have been several times in the last months. The child is fourteen why even though she is in the foster care system do they not hear she does not want to be living a father who has not had anytime for her thus far in her life? It is beyond my realm of comprehension.
I have come to the loth the foster care system. It is a prison for the innocent. If your children are taking away justly then you have no rights and it should be about what is best for the children. Was it my intention my sister not have her children back when this whole thing started? No, but has she stepped up and become the mother they need her to be.
The drive of great loss and frustration continues with the estate sell of my in-laws that have passed not so long ago. Their belongings sold off as if they were nothing of value to no one. Soon their house will be gone and nothing but a memory will be left in its place. How long will it be before it fades? I dreamt of my father in law the night before the start of the sell. He came to me very clearly. Stop to visit on the way of completing his list of things he needed to do. His son had helped with his list has he has been forgetful of late. Overall seemed very at peace.
Lack of sleep makes ones emotions run high and on the very surface of your skin. Being ultra sensitive to you surroundings weeping without control. There should be rest soon because this cannot go forever. Until then I will continue to search for peace if only for breif periods of time.
So much is going on in my life right now that the need for this escapism is at an all time high. To be in a place of none feeling. The battle wages on to be single. I am at a loss as to why it is taking so long. Truly would appear to be a case of someone not wanting me but not wanting me free to be with someone else.
The fight for my niece and nephews wages on as well. The end is near for a conclusion for my niece. Though I feel the outcome will not be good. Tomorrow we are back in court again as we have been several times in the last months. The child is fourteen why even though she is in the foster care system do they not hear she does not want to be living a father who has not had anytime for her thus far in her life? It is beyond my realm of comprehension.
I have come to the loth the foster care system. It is a prison for the innocent. If your children are taking away justly then you have no rights and it should be about what is best for the children. Was it my intention my sister not have her children back when this whole thing started? No, but has she stepped up and become the mother they need her to be.
The drive of great loss and frustration continues with the estate sell of my in-laws that have passed not so long ago. Their belongings sold off as if they were nothing of value to no one. Soon their house will be gone and nothing but a memory will be left in its place. How long will it be before it fades? I dreamt of my father in law the night before the start of the sell. He came to me very clearly. Stop to visit on the way of completing his list of things he needed to do. His son had helped with his list has he has been forgetful of late. Overall seemed very at peace.
Lack of sleep makes ones emotions run high and on the very surface of your skin. Being ultra sensitive to you surroundings weeping without control. There should be rest soon because this cannot go forever. Until then I will continue to search for peace if only for breif periods of time.
1 comment:
Good one! Welcome back!
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